In Azerbaijan son preference constitutes an endemic component of socially constructed patriarchal family structures and practices that continue to make sons more socially and economically valuable than daughters. The inheritance and land rights mainly pass through male heirs, greater male participation in the workforce allows them to contribute more to family income, and, in the absence of effective social security schemes, the ageing parents mainly depend on support of their sons. Moreover, unwritten rules of the society dictate that only sons can continue the family lineage as well as carry out certain religious and cultural rituals.
However, there are young men who are determined to stand against these discriminatory social norms and practices. Tofig Sadigov, a happy father of two girls and a Papa School mentor is one of them. He says, "In 2021, when I first joined the trainings of trainers on promoting a value of a girl child offered in the framework of the EU-funded projects implemented by UNFPA, I was unaware of the scope and detrimental impact of the practice of prenatal sex selection in my country.”
Tofig and his family reside in Baku, but he is originally from Lankaran, a city in the south-east of Azerbaijan. The southern region's devotion to religion and customs, as well as fondness for male children in the family, is widely recognized. When Tofig and his wife were expecting their second child, they were repeatedly reminded of importance of "a brother for a sister" from both relatives and friends. "I was a father of a girl when I became a facilitator for UNFPA's "Papa School" project, and we were expecting our second child. Those, who knew I had already had a daughter at the time were saying, "Don’t worry, hopefully, your second child will be a boy". Those words of “good wish” actually vividly manifested gender-based discrimination and deeply rooted preferences for a son child in our society."
Tofig and his spouse, unlike many other couples, strongly believe that a child of either sex is a blessing of God. "We were told the gender of our second daughter only shortly before birth, as all we wished for was to have a healthy child," Tofig continues. Though Tofig tried to resist those discriminatory social norms even before joining the project, his participation in the abovementioned project has helped him shape his knowledge, views and behaviors regarding gender equality and promoting the value of a girl child.
Tofig confesses that joining the program on addressing gender-biased sex selection has boosted his knowledge and capacities in this area. "This project has not only empowered me with new information and skills but also helped me strengthen my facilitation techniques. During the conversations and trainings, we had with hundreds of fathers in different cities and regions of the country, it was very inspiring to witness transformation of personal attitudes and views of the participants, observe the atmosphere of mutual respect, confidence and trust, and see how many of them were becoming better versions of themselves.”
Tofig states proudly that many young men attending his sessions are learning to critically reflect on their personal experiences and viewpoints, as well as the factors that are forcing many Azerbaijani families to blindly follow unwritten rules that are highly likely to harm our families and societies. Though it was not as easy, a safe atmosphere of trust was helping the participants reveal their inner selves. “The most rewarding experience of mine was when the men were approaching me after the sessions and admitting with sincere regret that they persuaded their wives to have multiple abortions after the birth of their first daughter," Tofig explains.
Determined to make his community a better place for all, Tofig is now facilitating the trainings and info-sessions on addressing the phenomenon of son preference and disseminating the knowledge and skills he managed to accumulate on his Papa School journey in Baku and the regions. As a father of two girl children, he feels that he has a moral obligation to contribute to the efforts to eliminate discriminatory social norms denying women and girls equal standing in the society by sensitizing communities and engaging young men in the related transformative efforts. "It is actually my personal transformation story too, as through these past years I’ve grown up as an ardent social change agent determined to further disseminate the messages on promoting the value of a girl child in my native Azerbaijan," he adds.
